The experience that follows was one that for me contained all the qualities of what I understand an initiation to be. It would open a completely new area or mythology for me it was a place and time that existed only for single night but became a journey that would always call me back.
I was alone at home and my mind was focused and clear I had been thinking about going to try and find a new tool for my magickal work, especially the trance type working that I had been doing. This tool would have a specific nature of a new quality to the magickal tools that were already a part of my working.
I felt compelled to go to an open area that I had performed rituals at in the past, I knew that I must walk, It was a very long walk over an hour away and I didn't really know how I would find it, but I knew I must walk.
I left my home and started in the general direction all the time slightly apprehensive as I did not know how to get there by foot. I began to realize that I had taken a wrong turning and was in a part near to the heath that I did not know but I thought that A way into the open wood must be near. I found a way on to the grass and headed for the trees all the time hoping that I would recognize a path, tree or clearing, I did not.
Things seemed to be hopeless. It was so dark that I could not see clearly or make out any objects that may be on the ground. I was getting very tied from walking so much. I had been walking over two hours at this point and I was still going up hill. I thought I should rest. I saw a tree on it's own on the top of the hill and decided to stop there for a while.
I lay back under the tree with no real thoughts. I looked up into the branches as I lay there calmly. I began to stare at a single branch in the tree, it appeared to be jet black and stand out from all the others I was almost mesmerized by it, I thought this must be the tool that I had come for although I was unsure as I had been expecting just to find a stick or branch as I walked, not to see a glowing branch in a tree!
The branch seemed compelling me to take it, so I reached out and broke it from the tree. It came away in my hand in a kind of Y shape. As I did this I became aware of my surroundings. To my surprise there was a small lantern made from a jar and heavy string with a candle sitting in the centre hanging right there in the tree. I lifted it from the tree and thought that I should take it with me and I could light it when I use the staff, it would be a connection to the place and time.
I had also brought with me some small things to leave when I found the magickal tool, as a kind of exchange or offering if you like. I turned to place them on the ground as I did so I felt a real awe for the place.
I got up to leave and looked up as the sky had cleared and the night was now rich deep black but radiant with it. As I looked a bolt of lightning cut the sky in two and was quickly followed by a shooting star, this stopped me in my tracks. I felt fixed staring up at the sky. As I stood there on top of the hill the sky seemed to dominate everything around. I felt that I must return and work with the staff that night. There was a very special nature to the tool and it should be completed that night. So from that day on, like an initiation, it would be a symbol or gateway to the energy that came to me that night.
GEN 1999